Just saying…….. I don’t think that I was counted when I arrived for my walk in the park.

I often tell the story of Javon, an 8th grade student in my classroom who had cancer. He missed all of 7th grade and upon entering 8th grade we met with the counselor to discuss the year ahead with Javon in the class. He just wanted to be considered as normal while he was at school. A couple of months of the school year went by as usual. But then he started getting more antsy during class time, like a typical 8th grade boy does as they get comfortable in class. So I gave him a detention when he talked too much in class. That is what I did for normal students. I told him at the end of class that I did not need him to serve the detention, just to understand that I did not accept anyone talking while I was talking. That worked for both of us. But that day, he counted as normal in my class, just like everyone else, and I believe that he appreciated me for that.

This is phrasing my response to the census taker at the park in a different way: I just want to be counted. While I laughed that day as I took the picture, I realized that this is a feeling that I have carried with me probably my whole life. I am being a bit vulnerable here, but I want to be counted as having good words to share, and good thoughts to share. I want to be counted as worth having in the group to enjoy our time together and to have ideas that the group will consider. I want to be counted as a problem solver who gets things done or working again when something is not right. I want to be counted as a valuable member of the team, or even as a leader for the team to look to in difficult situations. I want to be counted by a 10 yr old who puts her favorite good quotes up on her wall. So, how is this for an attempt at making the wall?

” I want to be counted, but to be counted, I will first count myself.”

People talk about having to prove themselves all the time, commonly seen in athletics, but just as common in any artistic avenue or intellectual pursuit. One point is that I am not counting myself if I do not even try. Being counted is not proving anything, it is a willingness to try whatever it is that we want to do and to be open to learning whatever it is that we need to learn to make this important choice come true. Many people that were successful were the ones that said, “I knew that I could do it, I just had to convince everyone else that I could do it.” That takes time, learning, effort, and repeated attempts. These are not the same as dreams where there is no real foundation for a belief. This thing that one wants to do has to be viewed in one’s own mind as being good, then one must be courageous enough to put it out there knowing others will examine it or scrutinize it. A very scary thought that requires a leap of faith to overcome.

So, after taking the picture, I went back and walked by the park census-taking guy again and coughed, you know, to be counted ….. just kidding. Have a Happy Friday. When those priceless moments come, savor them. Have a Happy Friday. Remember to subscribe on the Perspectives page.

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